We usually think it’s easier to follow the crowd, conform, because that’s what everyone else is doing and we don’t want to be left out. I mean, people might think we’re different.
Ah-ha! That’s the point, we are all different. When following the crowd, are you sure those in the crowd know where they’re going? More importantly, do you know where you want to go and why? If you choose to blend in with the crowd because you don’t want to appear unusual, you may be giving up your right to be all you can be.
Some people complain of feeling unfulfilled and bored, but instead of seeking new opportunities, trying new things and standing up for what they believe and what they know is right, they choose what they consider to be safe and familiar. Instead of taking the calculated risk, they opt for the mediocre and what they think will be comfortable.
You have the right to think for yourself, and if sometimes that means you have to be a little different, so be it. As they say, “The uncommon thought creates the exceptional individual.”
These are difficult times. Some express the view that we just have to accept that it’s all going to be downhill from here.
At a recent parenting workshop my wife asked participants what they were doing to help their children deal with society as it is today. The majority told stories of the supportive, nurturing strategies they are trying to adopt in the home. They want the best for their families and are doing what they can to make a positive impact on their children.
Many said they believe it is possible that by guiding their children to be law abiding, self reliant, caring individuals they were making positive waves that can spread beyond the household.
If we take the responsibility to contribute to an atmosphere that supports mutual respect, growth and development, that is a seed that can grow into something very powerful.
Many people imagine that the problems around them can only be solved by other people, usually people in authority. But nothing will get better unless we do something to make it better.
A car slammed into the back of my friend’s vehicle a few Saturdays ago. His 8 year old daughter was in the back seat. He said she began to cry, telling him of pains in her head and back. Hospital scans later revealed nothing was broken, just bruises. He took her home. He was scheduled to be in work on Sunday, but called and explained what happened and that he would be staying home to keep an eye of his daughter.
While making breakfast Sunday morning his mother, who lives in the same house, called out saying her chest was hurting “real bad”. He found her in bed sweating. He rushed her to hospital. The doctors said it was a massive heart attack and it was fortunate he got her to the hospital as soon as he did otherwise she would have died.
My friend told me if the accident had not occurred on Saturday, he would not have been home taking care of his daughter on Sunday, so he would not have been there to take his mother to hospital.
Bad stuff happens… but it might be just the opening scene in a movie that has a wonderfully positive ending.
So the line is drawn between what is allowed and what is not allowed, or what is right and what is wrong. And everybody is cool with that. But over time, some folks decide they want to operate very close to the line. Then, when no one is looking, they move the line. Just a little, but enough to give them an advantage or in order legitimise their actions.
Before you know it, everyone starts using this new line and gets comfortable with it. After a few years the process is repeated and the line keeps getting moved. Not only that, but because so many people are stepping on the line, it’s becoming faint, barely visible. So even those who want to do the right thing have difficulty knowing the boundaries. They don’t even know when they cross the line.
Seeing others moving beyond where lines used to be they ask themselves, “Well, if everyone is getting away with it, why not me?”
And so it goes on. Is there still a line? Do you see it?
It’s quite appropriate to accept the things beyond your control and not get overly upset about them, but it’s something else entirely to resign yourself to situations because of fear or laziness.
Most circumstances that cause conflicts for human beings are created by human beings and therefore can be changed somehow. But you will wipe out the possibility for change if you convince yourself there’s nothing you can do because you believe that’s just how things are.
By realizing that there is something you can do, all sorts of exciting alternatives open up. You’re then in a position to take action and make things happen.
Many psychologists suggest we are the products of what we choose for ourselves and we each have the capacity to make healthy choices. This can be done if we change our mind-set to what many describe as “creative aliveness”.
If you can improve your attitude and expectations about yourself, circumstances will likely take a turn for the better. Instead of simply reacting, you develop the habit of taking the initiative and getting down to business.
I went to the movies recently. It was a public holiday and the young woman collecting tickets obviously didn’t want to be working that day. I said something to my wife about the service at the place and the young woman started to quarrel with me as though I had been talking to her.
It caught me off guard. I tried to keep it together and told her that what I said to my wife was my opinion and there was no need for her to get involved.
The young lady turned up the heat and the volume. I told her thanks for her excellent customer service and walked into the cinema.
As I sat down I was still upset at the way she behaved. In fact, I remained fuming for about ten minutes before I realised… “Wait, I’ve paid to see this show. Yet I’m sitting here and allowing the woman’s hang ups to spoil my enjoyment. That can’t work. It’s like I’m paying money to get upset!”
Was I really going to allow this stranger to raise my blood pressure, tighten my neck muscles and crease my forehead? No way. I would not allow her bad mood to make me moody. I decided that her frustration belonged to her, not to me.
Chatting with some friends recently one said, “Have you noticed these days the world is moving in two directions? The negativity or darkness seems to be increasing, while humanity’s thirst for peace, love and harmony, the positive, is also increasing.”
Another friend said, “Supposing if all those seeking peace, harmony and things positive could cooperate and work together. Supposing if all those tiny lights realise they are not alone; that they have power; what would happen to the darkness?”
We fell silent as we embraced that thought and considered our personal responses to those not so illuminating periods in life – the times we felt the darkness closing in and forgot the power of our own light.
Occasionally we may feel as though we are in a tunnel with no possible way out. But a tunnel, by its very nature, has two openings. Therefore, there must be at least two ways out. The end of the tunnel may be a long way off, but it will eventually come into view.
When we lose hope, we also lose sight of the tiny speck of light way off in the distance. Why not focus on that glimmer of light up ahead. Even though it may be barely visible, as you continue to move towards the dot it increases in size, becoming more real with each step we take.
The more light we see, the more fuel is added to the fires of faith and hope. Protect the flame. Don’t let anyone blow out your light of hope and enthusiasm.
Some people take life so seriously they’re not able to see the natural humour and joy in what sometimes appear to be hopeless situations.
Students in my training sessions are often surprised with the laughter that accompanies the learning. I tell them that I enjoy what I do and am genuinely happy in sharing what I have learnt. Plus, learning often goes down easier when it’s fun.
A sense of humour is vital to all aspects of life. It doesn’t always involve laughing or being funny, but reflects an acceptance of life in all its weirdness. And you know things can get pretty weird at times.
We all seek out humour and laughter because it’s the one natural cure always available to us for removing boredom, depression or even panic. Laughs are free and don’t require a prescription from a doctor.
Have you laughed at some of your silly little mistakes recently? Try it. It will help you to lighten up and see things more clearly.
It makes good sense to develop and maintain a sense of humour.
While we are happy to get some help from others now and then, we all appreciate independence.
Most people like to know they can help themselves. Life has proved to us that there are very few people on whom we can depend. But life has also shown us that no one is an island. We have to take and give assistance.
Could it be that true independence is being in control of yourself and your habits? If it is, then independence could enable us to break free of those thoughts, words and actions of others that may negatively impact our lives. We may even be able to free ourselves from the slavery to material things.
In today’s world it is easy to be seduced by the promises of an easy life that can be ours without having to make any real effort. There is the “have it now pay later” mentality. What we often forget is that later comes with a heavy price tag.
Systems are set up to keep us tied to the idea that possessions are everything; that our value is linked to how we look and how much stuff we have. With that mindset, can we really claim independence?
A few weeks ago I walked into a solid glass door. It was thick and it hurt. I was left with a mild concussion.
At the time of the incident I had been working some long hours and no doubt in need of rest. As painful as the bang was, maybe there was something for me to learn, maybe even a warning. Could the glass have been like a mirror? If it was, I had been moving too quickly to see and assess the reflection.
Sharing the news with a friend he made the point that I had been pushing my self a bit too hard and I really needed to have a better balance between work and rest. Advice I’m comfortable giving out, but not often good at taking in.
He said we don’t realise how fast we’re going until we hit something. The force of the impact and the damage done usually indicates the speed at which were moving. That applies equally to travelling in a motor vehicle as to journeying through life.
Surely it’s better to stop voluntarily rather than crash into something.
This is an investment of a lifetime, guaranteed returns forever. You will never open your mouth to speak ever again without true consideration and appreciation for those with whom you are communicating. You will leave this course, not only as a certified public speaker but with the added bonus of… Read more “A true game changer”
Although the programme was about public speaking, it had a bigger benefit for me by sharpening my oral and writing communication skills, learning what details are irrelevant for the audience and hence making my message clearer and actionable. Six months later I can attest that the programme was directly beneficial… Read more “Directly beneficial to my work and has improved my skills”
You were an outstanding facilitator and my attitude to everything in life regarding preparation was changed for the better from this course. This course was not only about public speaking, but more so communication, effective communication. And on the foundation that was prepared for me by you, Mr. King,… Read more “More than public speaking”
If you are looking for a genuine lecturer who is knowledgeable, positive, patient, attentive, motivational and experienced in their field this is a one stop shop. The sessions are magnificently tailored to bring out your true abilities, incorporating various communication strategies and techniques for an effective mind blowing heartfelt audience experience! Definitely… Read more “Magnificently tailored sessions”
I have learnt from the course that whether I am speaking to 1 or 100 persons I am having a conversation with them and what hooks them is a true story that they can relate to. Also, whenever I am feeling fearful, I try to remember that fear is feeling excited and… Read more “This course has been a blessing to me”
Garfield transformed the way I communicate with people. His focus on developing me, to be the best communicator I could possibly be, did wonders for my confidence. His message of authentic communication and that people really want to see and hear from you, the you on the inside and not… Read more “Making people the best communicators they can be”
Mr King created an environment that recognized each person as having their own unique contribution to make to the world. I felt comfortable making mistakes as it all added value to my learning experience. His practical approach and real life examples were priceless. I would recommend Mr King without reservation… Read more “This course is a life changer!”
The public speaking course offered at IBC and facilitated by Mr. Garfield King, definitely surpassed my expectations. My goal to develop pertinent skills in public speaking was additionally enhanced by Mr. King’s hands-on approach and insightful critique. The classes were interactive and very interesting. I would recommend this course for… Read more “Skills in public speaking with simultaneous personal development”
Your class has paid so many dividends already. I gave the message in church Sunday gone and I have gotten such great reactions from members of my congregation. They’ve all commented that my messages have gotten better and that I am connecting in an even greater way now than I… Read more “Has paid so many dividends already”
I would like to thank you for imparting a lot of useful communication tips with me and helping me to boost my confidence in public speaking. Once again, thank you for imparting to us those useful tips and techniques which will assist us all in becoming more effective communicators.
This public speaking course was most informative and helped me discover the personal areas that I needed to work on. The instructor is attentive and very knowledgeable and freely shares his wisdom and expertise and provides positive reinforcement. He offers tips, techniques, and exercises that have been extremely beneficial in… Read more “The instructor is attentive and very knowledgeable”
Thanks so much for all your assistance, suggestions and advice. The course was a wonderful experience. You are a great teacher. I have started using some of your ideas in my presentations. Good luck in all your future endeavours.
Going through the sessions made me aware of things that I need to improve on and things that I need to eliminate. I was always a person to hide in the background, but since doing the program I am now more inclined to not be in the back or even… Read more “Made me aware of things I need to improve on”
Although this course was a basic one, it was life changing for me. The skills I attained have helped me to battle and maybe overcome that fear of public speaking. I have learnt to structure my speech, how to connect with my audience, how to command my space and how to… Read more “It was life changing for me”
I had to make a presentation to an important corporate client so I tried to remember all the stuff you shared with us and was able to apply most of it. My boss said the feedback she received was all positive and they were impressed by the presentation and how the Q… Read more “I felt so much more able and confident”
I am very grateful to you for taking the time from your busy schedule to share the knowledge that you have attained and for encouraging and guiding us. I really did appreciate and enjoy your session. You kept me alert and I’m sure everyone else thought the same. … Read more “Very informative and full of life”
This course was a life changing experience for me, it has helped me communicate better both in my personal life and the work environment. The course has thought me the importance of body language, eye contact, breathing and connecting with my audience when making presentations. Mr King has shown… Read more “Helped me communicate better at work and in personal life”
The information delivered, in my opinion, was very relevant and would greatly assist me in my work environment and personal life. I signed up for the course in order to overcome my fear of public speaking. However, I learned a lot more that will greatly enrich my personal development.
I thoroughly enjoyed the interactive nature of this course. Despite my fear of the video sessions, I believe they were key to my progress over the last few weeks. Additionally, the pace of the class and the structure of the lessons which built upon previous classes was excellent.
I enjoyed discovering more of the art of communication. This course showed me the things that I did incorrectly and challenged me to do better by practising daily what was shared. Thank you for the experience.
Mr King’s approach is very practical. He is not afraid to point out your weaknesses but at the same time he’s immensely keen on helping you to turn them into strength. Taking his course gave me a lot of motivation to continue towards achieving the goals I set in life.
This public speaking course was to me a life class. I learned many lessons that I will take with me throughout my lifetime. Mr King is an excellent teacher. He makes everyone feel comfortable and intelligent. He encourages your point of view. You learn to appreciate others. You… Read more “Lessons that I will take with me throughout my lifetime”
Instead of being fearful to speak you learn to manage your fear and harness your adrenalin to improve your presentations. The transformation I have seen in people doing this course is amazing. The programme helps you to get in touch with who you really are. It has helped to build… Read more “Helps you to get in touch with who you really are”
On reflection I can say that a good presentation does not just happen. It takes a lot of research and preparation. I certainly learned a lot about the content, design and delivery of a presentation. Not to mention, Mr. King was an excellent facilitator and engaged his audience thoroughly. I… Read more “A valuable experience”